Some fun with made-up conspiracy theories in the time of COVID.
Season 1 – Episode 2 – Packaging
The number of people with income in the world not receiving a mask in a package is near zero. The problem was getting multiple masks into hands of the poor.
“We’ll give it to them for free.”
“We don’t have the money.”
“Well, actually we do, but we’ll get the governments and the good Samaritans to pay for them.”
It actually was that easy. The whole plan was that simple.
Make a virus – check. Technically they didn’t make the virus, they just created an environment where it was highly probable to create a virus. And by highly probable, I mean certain. Saved a ton of money. And no scientists to worry about getting in the way when they developed a conscience.
Ensure it spreads worldwide through travel – check. Ironically the spread patterns were almost identical to how the board game ‘Pandemic’ plays.
Make everyone where masks – check.
It was mind boggling to the team. The country that creates the virus (China) is also the country you have to buy the masks from. (China). Talk about creating your own supply and demand chain…
Those that can’t afford masks get them for free – check.
So why wasn’t the program working better? By now we should be in greater control. Oh the success rates were great. The drugs were getting out, they just weren’t working at an optimal level. Some suggested that the control agents needed more time. Other’s starting working on mandatory mask laws which worked, and if it didn’t work, increase the fines until it does. It was quality control that discovered the problem.
“It’s the dam packaging.”
“We tested the packaging to make sure we weren’t losing too much of the drug onto the packaging. We found a compound alright. Not our drug. Someone is putting a counter agent in the packaging, hell it’s in all the packaging.”
“Can you stop saying ‘what’, dam it, this is serious. Someone is countering our plan by using the packaging that every mask comes in to distribute an antidote. The counter agent is absorbed through the skin when you open the disposal mask packages. And initial results are showing the interior of every Amazon package, every carboard box, each piece of packaging has been sprayed with a topical, skin absorbing anti agent.”
“If that’s the case, what about the all the anger and confrontations. How are we getting the results.”
“Our agent is amplified by the paranoia from being in isolation. And we’ve been dosing people for a long time. This counter agent is new.”
“The world health organization? No, but that’s not important right now. Management is pissed and want to know who is interfering.”
“Give me a break. He’s just interested in supply chains and being famous.”
“Yup, gota be the Revisionists.”
“I hate Revisionists.”
“Take a number.”